|Stop the Edmonton Valley Line LRT||Home Q1 Q2 Q3 Why Day RSD|
|A place for some ideas in opposition to the LRT in Edmonton||D1 D2 L1 L2 T1 T2 T3 Contact|
So I read in this papersite I keep getting that the owner of Stantec (Mr. Stantec presumably) now wants to build an 80 story tower in downtown Edmonton.
And as usual I have a number of questions and concerns about this. But before that, a bit of background.
The tower will be a tower. It will be about 80 storys. More or less. Or more. Or maybe less.
The exact tallness of the stories aside, Mr. Stantec says it can be seen from 40km away in any direction. Once it's built that is. And it will be built in downtown Edmonton. Oh, and it will be a tower. (I think I said that already).
That's basically all the background there is to know because well, that's all the background there is I think. I mean, like it's a tower. So it's tall. And it's supposed to be in downtown Edmonton. So, it's in Edmonton. Not exactly groundbreaking technology here. Or groundbreaking anything actually except, well, the ground under it in Edmonton I guess.
And so here goes the questions and concerns...
So he has plenty of room for one measly little 80 story tower one would think.
So why does he want this one in our downtown?
If I were to build a massive tower, I'd want it in my backyard where I could keep an eye on it. So not in some dingy downtown where everyone could see it, that's for sure.
I mean, what if someone touches it?
So that's like walking to Millet. Or maybe it's Gibbons and you're actually lost. Hard to pin this one down since the tower is not actually built yet. So we can't really see it which means there is no way to actually test this theory.
But theory aside, get far enough away and that so-called "curvature of the earth" thing starts to kick in. So at some point supposedly you will only be able to see the top floor. Or maybe it's that thing that looks like an outhouse on the top of the top floor.
Either way, walk away long enough and sooner or later it will look like a one story building that is 39km away on a flat earth. Keep walking and eventually it disappears. Which means you never have to look at it again for the rest of your life.
Cool party trick eh?
Oh, and it will be in Canada too.
Wow! Those Canadiens. Building things.
But like the H1 tag says, Toronto is more than 40km away. So nobody in Toronto will be able to see it anyway. Not without a massive telescope and a flat earth that is.
So who exactly in Toronto cares about this thing then?
Everybody knows that Toronto is the center of Toronto. So, I'm pretty sure they could care less about some structure that is still shorter than their big tower.
I always did like erecting various long and, um, well, not all that slender body parts of my own to stick at Toronto.
What! No, no, no. Not that (but thanks!). I was trying to be polite here. But I guess you are all, well nevermind. What I meant was that I like to turn up my big fat nose at them too. Geez louise...
But even I have the decency to do it in the privacy of my own backyard. That way only all my neighbors with their cell phone cameras can see me.
But not that Mr. Stantec. That man has, well, no not that. What was it again? Oh yes: money.
So he can stick something that strongly resembles an artificial body part at Toronto right from the center of our downtown without even getting arrested!
I wish I had money.
But dude, a tower that everyone can see for 40 km? I mean, I do get the "flaunt it and people can see it" thing. The people at the clinic told me it's called exhibitionism.
But some things really should not be flaunted. Or even compensated for.
And bro, do you even know how to share? I mean, did you bring enough compensation for everyone? I thought not.
Get help dude. NO! not that kind of help. Drugs, even that legal tax-weed stuff, is not the answer. The people at the clinic made that as clear as crystal.
I mean, get real, professional help. I know this place. It's at the end of this one story strip mall just off downtown. People there can help. Especially ... oh, um gotta go.. well, luck dude, find it and it will find you...